From the other side...

There are always so many sides to every occasion, event, argument, or decision. I have known so many people who have come to tell me a loved one is sick. I always respond with I'm sorry and tell them that I can pray for them and I think to myself I can't imagine what that is like and I always wished I would know what to do for people. Knowing what to do for others has never come easily for me.

Well, now I find myself on the other side. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago. You don't have to know me very long to know my mom is one of my best friends and family is just a "little" important to me even though I live far away. Not a day goes by we don't talk on the phone. 

I have struggled with how to tell people because I am not sure how to respond. How do you tell people when they are just going to have so many questions no one has the answers to? I also don't like to bring other people down and telling them what is going on doesn't exactly brighten someone's day. It's also awkward to then change the conversation. There are times I can talk about it and not cry at all but then there are the times the smallest thought brings out the "ugly cry." It feels wrong when I can say it and it doesn't upset me but then I wonder if its just me putting it off and not addressing the situation. I always thought if I was in that situation I would then be able to help others but I'm now there and I have no clue where to begin.

So here is what I do know...
1. My family is strong and are being so understanding that I can't be home right now.
2. My mom is being taken care of by someone with more power than any of us. God knows how amazing she is and He is with her.
3. I can say I am humbled by the number of people praying for my mom and our family everyday. I am inspired by the stories of survival and appreciate hearing about the paths people have taken to remission. 
4. Through all of this I never once want to lose my faith in God that he will provide and lead the doctor's and our family to make the right choices and get us through this.

These song lyrics were on in the car this morning and this afternoon when I first got in the car. Thinking about them led me to put my thoughts down about today.

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are
That grace can really change a heart
Do I live like Your love is true

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

~Angela